Me: There's my french press.
Father: I told you I got it out and cleaned it for you.
Me: But it is not in Portland.
Father: No, it's not.
Me: I don't have any coffee so it doesn't matter.
Father: I figured you could use mine.
Me: I don't believe that is an option. (It's frozen Kona from Ross's Dress for Less)
***Dad goes to the store, then calls me**
Father: If you'd like to tell me what kind of coffee you drink I'll be glad to pick it up for you.
Me: Please do not.
Father: Are you sure?
***************I went to an obvious bad coffee shop. So I reluctantly ordered a caramel latte.
The jerkface girl looked at me in a snappy know-it-all voice and said "We don't have caramel lattes. We only have caramel macchiatos which is basically the same thing." I just looked at her with a blank face until I could muster up the courage to tell her I do not want vanilla, I want caramel. I worked at Starbucks for a few years. I know what that means. She replies, "We don't put vanilla in it."
I mean, really? What I refrained from asking her was to inform me of what a macchiato was so I could punch her in the throat.
Complaint of the day...
Went to the coffee shop that always pissed me off when I was back here for those awful 3 months. Ordered a cappuccino. He says, “What size?” Traditional. He then gives me the “AH HA” look and acts like he knows what I want. Then an obscenely zit-faced boy handed me the heaviest 12 oz “cappuccino” with the worst foam. I took a sip. It was horrifying. Then I saw...
Driving in North Portland. Busted out my 112 cd. Bitches at the bus stop look at me like I be crazy. Pumpin up the jam. Trying to get excited about the A-T-L. This is my jam. Don’t Hate Me.
randomkeith replied to your post: Oh you know… Currently jealous of your PB&J, Milk, and trip to Atlanta Yeah, and my dad is going to smoke a bunch of meat. Not that you’re into that kind of thing. Sweet tea. Peach cobbler. Family drama. Ahhh, the life.
Oh you know...
Saturday night. Sitting at home. Eating a pb&J and drinking a glass of milk because you realize it’s the 4th half gallon you’ve bought that is going to go straight down the drain. Laundry. Face masks. Bad tv. Gotta clean my house since a friend will be staying here while I’m in Atlanta. Oh yeah, I’m going to Atlanta soon. Ugh. Flying.
My friend and I.
We went to the park and ate smores. She moved to Seattle, but she’s here every other weekend. I think I’m more myself around her than my other friends here in Portland. I get to be random and goofy and not make any sense and it’s ok. I tend to be more introverted around others, or insecure with my “randomness”…
It wasn’t that location, but yes… It was that store. cole-turner replied to your post: I bought a key from a machine. omg hawthorn Fred Mayer? I copied like 9 keys at once one day and none of them work D:
I bought a key from a machine.
I had to make a copy. It had a “buy 2 get one free special” which would be awesome if they’d let me copy both keys and get the deal, but instead, they didn’t. They also tricked you so you’d spend $1 extra on a key you don’t need. So, I paid extra. I get home to test them out. The key that I copied that did not trick me into buying 2 worked. The other keys that...
What's your hobo name? →
buzzfeed: Mine is apparently Nevada Fry-Pan Larry. Mins is Utah Boxcar Schmidt. Which is kinda funny…
I used to get sick a lot. Really bad. Then I moved to Portland and what used to be monthly severe sinus infections turned into twice a year mild sinus infections. And I connected them to stress. I feel number 3 coming on. I think it sucks, but conditions are good. :/
Walked into work today.
Boss: How'd you get in?
Me: *That door that you just saw me walk through...
Boss: Did I give you a check?
Boss: I can't find yours...?
Boss: I can write you one...?
Boss: But you can't cash it until the middle of next week.
Me: Well, that's when I need money, I guess...
(2 hours later boss hands me a check)
Boss: This isn't all that I owe you but I'm keeping track...
I'm harvesting fruit flies.
I’m not quite sure how those little bitches always know when I have fruit, but sure as it rains in Portland, they do. I took it upon myself to search all of the interwebs (pinterest and google) to figure out if I already had access to supplies ( I did) so I went ahead and set up my trap. Every place I looked said I needed fruit and apple cider vinegar. I had pineapple and REGULAR vinegar....
The sun is up, and we are still in these people’s home. God can see us...– Kenneth Parcell- 30 Rock.
Walking down the street...
A car drives by and a girl screams “OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!” The light is red. I cannot cross. They cannot go. Someone turns off the radio and the passenger proceeds to sing along to the song. It was as bad as you can imagine, though she was trying her best. I turned to look and our eyes met. Then I gave her a look of disapproval, I shook my head and crossed the street. I hope...
On my daily walk...
I decided that I don’t exist in this world. So I ordered my usual at my usual coffee shop and I sat. The first time ever. I just sat. And waited. And asI sweat in my seat, no coffee was for me. I was sitting right there. In front of them. Not drinking coffee and they didn’t even notice. So I stood up. Still nothing. So I spoke up… But I didn’t want to because these guys...
I've been more exhausted.
But I just walked to the coffee shop. The same coffee shop I walk to every day. Longest walk of my life. That’s how it felt. Last night we had our “grand opening” and it was fun. But my body was not prepared to work. I think it was a combination of that and not sleeping and feeding my body tempeh, donuts and beef. It definitely still hates me for eating beef. I woke up in a...